Read Bite Me If You Can by Lynsay Sands Free Online

Ebook Bite Me If You Can by Lynsay Sands read! Book Title: Bite Me If You Can
Date of issue: February 1st 2011
ISBN: 0575099542
ISBN 13: 9780575099548
The author of the book: Lynsay Sands
Language: English
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 656 KB
Edition: Gollancz

Read full description of the books Bite Me If You Can:

One of my very favorite things in books is when something or someone not human is trying to "human". If it's written correctly, it will always be funny and endearing. This story did a good job with it. Lucian is over 2,000 years old and really has no idea. He lost his humanity so long ago that he doesn't even know it's gone. Well... doesn't care. If not giving a shit was money, he'd be a billionaire. Wait, that's not my favorite analogy. Money is fine, but still. Okay, if not giving a shit was chocolate, he'd be my favorite person ever.

mmmm.... chocolate....

Lucian gets stuck taking care of a newbie vampire, Leigh, and he treats her like an unwanted red-headed step-child at first. He literally puts in ear plugs while she is screaming in pain so that he'll be more comfortable. He also tries to feed her dog food because he has no idea that people won't eat it. It's food, right? In other words, he's a heartless bastard.

I like him.

The problem is that Leigh likes Lucian and he starts to like her too. It's like his heart grew three sizes that day, ala Grinch.
Well... something grew.

“Are you talking to my penis?” Lucian asked with disbelief.
“It talked to me first,” she said defensively, and frowned. “You didn’t mention this little skill.”
Lucian decided she must be joking and laughed. “So, what did it say?”
“It said, ‘Lucian? Lucian, are you there?’” He blinked.
“Why would it say that?”
“I don’t know. It’s your penis.”
That’s when he recalled the cell phone in his pocket.

Modern women.... we'll anthropomorphize everything. (Look it up)
It's not like men do that. They never name their penis. That would be weird.

The Penis Name Book: A Guide to Naming Man's Best Friend

That's right. There are even name books for the peen. This book has a 4.5 rating here on goodreads.
Obviously, this is serious business. Also, just remember when you are thinking of writing a book and wonder if you could ever get published: someone published this.

Anyway, enough penis talk. I can't believe you guys are making me talk about something so embarrassing!

This book was one of the better ones of the series. There were plenty of laughs and both of the main characters were likable.

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Ebook Bite Me If You Can read Online! LYNSAY SANDS is the nationally bestselling author who is known for her hysterical historicals as well as the popular Argeneau/Rogue Hunter vampire series. With her witty and charming personality, Sands describes books as, “Waking dreams or stories, tales to amuse, entertain and distract us from everyday life.” She’s been writing stories since grade school and considers herself incredibly lucky to be able to make a career out of it. Her hope is that readers can get away from their everyday stress through her stories, and if there are occasional uncontrollable fits of laughter, that’s just a big bonus. Visit her official website at

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