Read Vampyrens mærke by P.C. Cast Free Online
Book Title: Vampyrens mærke|
Date of issue: 2008
ISBN: No data
ISBN 13: No data
The author of the book: P.C. Cast
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 13.70 MB
Read full description of the books Vampyrens mærke:Beware of spoilers! (But then again, just don't read this book.)
Warning: This review is just me being very negative. In no way will this review sound intelligent and well written. Therefore, if you wish to continue, you may.
Anyway, I will start all the way from the beginning. There are so many things I'd like to point out.
I pick up the book. I see the cover. It's a picture of half a girl's face. I'm guessing that's Zoey. Whatever. I look at the back. There is a comment from Gena Showalter on the top that says:
"From the moment I stuck my face in this book it hooked me! Totally awesome new take on vampires! Marked is hot and dark and funny. It rocks!"
First of all, what kind of author talks like that? Or is she just as idiotic as the Casts? Or maybe she really did like it. Or maybe the Casts "made her write that." Dun dun dun. You'll see what I'm talking about shortly. There is also a dreadfully long summary of the whole damn book on the back. Way to give away almost everything.
Let's start with the protagonist herself, Zoey Redbird.
I found someone whinier than Bella Swan. Someone more stupid than Bella Swan. Someone more clumsy than Bella Swan. Yes, that's possible. I'm not even joking, everyone.
Specific evidence of Zoey's stupidity:
- Page 1: "If I died, would it get me out of my geometry test tomorrow? One could only hope."
Oh, that's completely understandable. I mean, I feel dumb for thinking about whether I left a lasting legacy. I should be thinking about miniscule matters such as school tests. Silly me.
- Page 46: "She wasn't thin like the freak girls who puked and starved themselves into what they thought was Paris Hilton chic. ("That's hott." Yeah, okay, whatever, Paris.")
Freak girls? This is a serious matter, you fucking dumbass. Skinny shaming. I wanted to shoot myself with the stupid parenthetical overkill they put throughout the whole damn book as well.
Page 100: "Cereal?" I suddenly perked up. I seriously adore cereal, and have an I heart Cereal shirt somewhere to prove it."
Do I need to even explain what's wrong with that sentence?
Page 188: "Can I ask you something? It's kinda personal," Erik said. "Hey you've seen me drink blood from a cup and like it, puke, kiss a guy, lick his blood like I'm a puppy, and then bawl my eyes out. And I've seen you turn down a blow job. I think I can manage to answer a kinda personal question."
What the fuck?
Page 277: "Aphrodite laughed a throaty, I'm-so-grown-up-and-you're-just-a-kid laugh. I really hate it when girls do that. I mean, yes, she's older, but I have boobs, too."
Yes, because only breasts signify that a girl is grown up. Great message, Casts.
I'm not sure if they deliberately created Zoey for the sole reason that we should all hate her. They have no idea how teenagers act and talk. Apparently all teenagers talk like rotten teenagers LIKE OMG! NO WAY! YEAH, WHATEVER! I HAVE BOOBS, TOO! ZOMG.
Zoey is the special, one-of-a-kind, "chosen one." Only she can rule the world, basically. Her mentor is the best. She has all the powers. She is the one and only. Cliche much? Very. I was just sad I was stuck inside her head for the entire book. I felt suffocated.
Zoey's friends are all pathetic excuses for friends. The "twins" are annoying little brats. Damon is just a moron. And oh yeah, the country girl. Stevie Rae is just fucking annoying.
Aphrodite and Erik. I couldn't stop laughing every time I read about them.
AND WHO THE HELL HAS ORAL SEX IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCHOOL HALLWAY?! Or am I really that naive when it comes to horny high school children?
- Erik is the more stupid hotter version of Edward Cullen. He follows Zoey around. He asks her incredibly awkward/creepy questions. He's just very romantic, am I right.
That's the ugliest thing I've seen in my entire life.
- Aphrodite is just a poor excuse for an antagonist. *Googles Aphrodite* Oh! The Greek goddess of love, beauty, and sexuality! Another character whose name defines her personality. *rolls eyes*
I guess editing just lost its meaning in the midst of horrible books. Where is Editing?! Where are you, my love?!
I'm not even going to talk about the plot because there was no plot. I only read half the book (painfully), but I'm certain there was no plot for the parts I didn't read as well.
Overall, this is what I came to know:
1. I found a book worse than Twilight.
2. I found a protagonist worse than Bella Swan.
3. So far, this is the worst book I have ever read.
How in the world did this get published? I'm sure the publishers were drunk. They had to be. I'm ashamed to give this even one star. It's not worthy of anything! The Casts could kill the main character and it still would never amount to anything. What a shitfest.
I just want to say one last, important thing to the Casts:
Just in case I am called a rotten bitch for trash talking this book.
Read information about the authorPC was born in the Midwest, and grew up being shuttled back-and-forth between Illinois and Oklahoma, which is where she fell in love with Quarter Horses and mythology (at about the same time). After high school, she joined the United States Air Force and began public speaking and writing. After her tour in the USAF, she taught high school for 15 years before retiring to write full time. PC is a #1 New York Times and #1 USA Today Best-Selling author and a member of the Oklahoma Writers Hall of Fame. Her novels have been awarded the prestigious: Oklahoma Book Award, YALSA Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers, Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Award, the Prism, Holt Medallion, Daphne du Maurier, Booksellers’ Best, and the Laurel Wreath. PC is an experienced teacher and talented speaker. Ms. Cast lives in Oregon near her fabulous daughter, her adorable pack of dogs, her crazy Maine Coon, and a bunch of horses. House of Night Other World, book 1, LOVED, releases July 11th. SUN WARRIOR, book 2 in the Tales of a New World series releases October 17th.
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