Read The Everything by Richard C. Cox Free Online
Book Title: The Everything|
Date of issue: May 2nd 2013
ISBN 13: 9781780881829
The author of the book: Richard C. Cox
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 1.94 MB
Edition: Troubador Publishing
Read full description of the books The Everything:Rumours have been circulating about this book ever since it was first published. A number of readers have wondered at the state of mind of its author; as one put it, "How could anyone be mad enough to think all this up, yet sane enough to write it all down?" A few have gone further, claiming that The Everything is written from a viewpoint so extraordinary, no human mind (sane or otherwise) could possibly have created what you find in these pages - and that someone, or something, else must be behind it. As another put it, only half-jokingly, "the book sounds as if, somehow, it found its way here from another dimension entirely, a dimension where even the laws of nature are different from the ones we are used to."
For one thing, it's not a conventional novel; it has no plot, characters, dialogue, heroes or villains, no sex, no guns, no flowery descriptions of sunsets - just stuff, lots of extraordinary stuff. And for another, it doesn't belong to any known genre: not Philosophy, although its subject is the nature of reality; not Humour either, although it is funny; not even Science Fiction, although it is fiction...well, probably is.
So what is it? Is it just a mad author's idea of a joke? Is it an experiment, or is there a message hidden in it? Or, having read it, are you left pondering the unlikeliest idea of all: that everything in The Everything is completely true - and that what we call "reality" is a stranger, funnier - and far more wonderful - place than you ever imagined?
Read information about the author'Richard, this is Debbie again at Goodreads Admin. Since you consistently refuse to answer private messages, you've left us no choice but to warn you publicly: amend your Profile Page immediately or your account will be deleted.'
'What's wrong with it?'
'As we've explained to you before, it blatantly flouts our Guidelines: these Pages should be serious, informative and friendly. Yours is just too silly by half.'
'Silliness is the way forward. A year from now they'll all be doing it like this.'
'And you've been spreading lies about Goodreads HQ. Admin is not "A shabby one-room office above a Chinese restaurant," and we certainly do not spend our days "looking at Facebook and catching up on our beauty sleep in deckchairs".'
'I know a so-called "programmer" who used to work there. He told me he spent half his time sat in the toilet reading a newspaper.'
'You might be referring to Larry. Larry had a serious attitude problem.'
'He says Friday afternoons are the best: you all knock off around one o'clock and pile into Frankie's across the road to get hammered.'
'Outrageous. Our lawyers will be in touch.'
'You don't have lawyers—for a while you didn't even have a proper door.'
'Yes, well, that was Mr Li from the Golden Dragon downstairs. It was Christmas Eve and we were just enjoying a pleasant glass of Bay Chablis...'
'He was so angry at all the music and stamping, he ripped the door clean off its hinges on his way up. Plaster from his ceiling was raining down into his customers' chop suey. It took six cops to wrestle the meat-cleaver off him.'
'Right, that's it. Deleting you now Mr Cox.' (A long pause, followed by the sound of someone bashing laptop keys at random. Then swearing.)
'You can't, can you? You don't have any idea how.'
(Sound of a laptop smashing through a window, then shouting, a fist-fight, then): 'Now, let's be reasonable about this Mr Cox...'
'Wait a minute, who are you?'
'This is Marlon. Debbie has... Debbie had to step outside for a moment.'
'Debbie is having a nervous breakdown you mean. That was her screaming "Put me down, you motherfuckers, or I'll kill you!" wasn't it?'
'As she was patiently explain- '
'Now I can hear a siren, is that an ambulance?'
'As she was patiently explaining, at Goodreads we enforge a zero-toluance policy on silliness of all kinds, not only viz-a-vid Members' Profile Pages, but in discussion gropes as well. That "Just Lurking" thread, for example, contains some of the most gargled rubbish ever to dessicate the English language...'
'That's the point—it's an antidote to everything sensible on this site.'
'...and we are consentially attempting to close down that particular grope as a warn-'
'You said "attempting to". Larry was right, none of you have a clue how the software works. Wow, it's like in one of those films where the passengers finally break into the cockpit—and find it empty: no one is flying the plane.'
'So this is your final final warning Mr Cox. Got to go now, someone at the door.'
'It's your landlord, I can hear him shouting: "You owe me six months. Open up in there or I cut off the goddamn electric".'
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